If I wrote a song, the notes would slide in perfect succession across the highs and lows of an emotional landscape. They would shadow and soar, flutter and fly through the hills and valleys of the music. The chords would reflect the state of my heart, the intervals between notes would tell the story of life, love and loss.
If I wrote a song, the lyrics would be full of meaning, deep as stars, high as light - the distillation of story into a few precious words.
If I wrote a song, I would give it to someone I trusted to help it come alive. I would gather the best musicians I knew and let them take the song into their skillful hands and watch them breathe themselves into it. I would watch the song unfold as each musician added their own personality to its structure and depth. They would change it and make it better than I could.
If I wrote a song, I would sit with my friend who knows about these things and we would make hundreds of tiny decisions about production that would bring all the musical elements into a harmonious whole. We would argue and I would trust him, we'd change things, we'd go out on a limb. We'd freak out and then, euphorically, realize that we had come out with something we liked. We'd drive around at midnight listening to it at various volumes to make sure it was just right.
If I wrote a song, I'd find an amazing venue run by a friend who loves music so much that he created a space just so people who could share his joy. He'd travel far and wide to get the best musicians he could find and make them feel loved and valued when they came to perform at his place. I'd hope to be asked to come perform there and then, when he did ask me to play a concert, I'd think: this is the perfect spot to have a CD release party!
I'd perform the song a lot so I knew just how to sing it, I'd practice with musicians I love and respect, I'd let my introverted self be photographed so my outside would match my inside heart and I would just make myself forget that I felt super self-conscious about it. I'd ask my friend Paul to come and open for my concert because I love and respect his musicianship so much. I'd talk my sister into flying down from Montana to sing harmony with me, my cousin to drive up from LA to play trumpet. I'd try to think of everything to make it the perfect night to let my heart out into the world.
I'd look back on the last two years of hard work and ask myself: who are you going to share this special thing with?
And I'd look around my life at all my blessings and failures, and the friends and fellow artists who have been with me along the way and I'd know -
If I wrote a song,
I'd want to share it with you.